A Modern Day Fairy Tale - Part III

The next twist of the tale found our beset upon (no longer little) girl deep in thought (as well as other unmentionable substances) while she pondered the circumstances that had brought her to her knees (literally) scrubbing yet another toilet at the local hockey rink. The Sunday Shitter (SS) had once again left his mark for her to deal with. Donning her uber-sexy one size fits all (If you’re Andre the Giant, that is) rubber gloves, she proceeded to clean. As well as his regular “deposit”, SS had also left his token empty beer cans. Well, at least those she could take home for BF and DS to fight over.

Feeling the guilt that only a mother can feel, our heroine had applied for a loan from her local Sharks R Us branch (hence the second job she had now had to take on to make ends meet), loaned LED the money for her boob job and spent the rest purchasing new recliners for BF and DS. Unfortunately, the funds didn’t amount to enough to cover the price of new TV’s and remotes, so they were still scrapping over the sole mystical channel changer, when they weren’t fighting over the last beer in the fridge. (Needless to say, neither one of them had ever been the purchaser of said beverage.)

Her cell phone vibrated in her pocket. Yanking off her blue (and did I say, oh so sexy) rubber gloves, she answered the call from BF. “Get home quick, woman, your hairball upchucking cat (HUC) just puked up another one on the living room floor and I need you to come home and clean it up. After all, I spent half the day fixing the brakes on your Jeep so you could go to work and earn us some money. Oh... and don’t forget....buy me beer, and ...we’re out of lotion.” What was a woman to do???? Actually, running away to join the circus sounded good about now. Her phone vibrated in her pocket again..now what????? "AGHHH, MOM", bellowed DS,"I CAN'T GET THE F***ING REMOTE TO WORK!!!" As she hung up her phone she smiled. Tonight she would secretly have the last laugh for in the back pocket of her tattered work jeans, safe and sound, were the batteries to the remote. Winning isn’t everything, but sometimes, it just feels right.


Trudging to the back of the arena, she cursed the hairball manufacturing cat that was a constant source of argument fodder for BF. Although, come to think of it, the darling kitty had marked its territory that morning by spraying the chrome tires and pipes on the prized (and manly) Harley that BF had purchased at the height of his mid-life crisis. On second thought, maybe HUC would enjoy a nice bit of salmon for dinner ... as a small reward.

As she pulled away from the rink, she heard a strange pinging sound coming from the bowels of the Jeep’s deep, dark, mechanical recesses....now what (and how much)???

Great! I am still laughing...

I actually did get my current (non-hair ball tossing) cat from a woman whose new BF didn't like cats...her loss, my gain!

Kathleen ..... yay!

You do very well, I'd say. What a story!
I just love the image of that motorbike sprayed with cat piss.

You have an extremely nice touch with hilarities - it's certainly not every day one gets to read a description of loo cleaning work like the one you turned out here.
Good work. Keep it rolling.

Jane

Doug..I like most animals (except for rodent like creature with long tails...shiver..) But I love my cats. I have had enough of them over the years to know that not all their "accidents" were accidental!

Thanks Jane, Only a woman could appreciate toilet cleaning humour...I don't think men know how to clean toilets do they??????
(whoops, I bet I am going to be in trouble now...)
Kathleen

WOMAN...

Get over to my place RIGHT NOW, and clean my toilet!!!

(Lotion?)

Kathleen,
When you’re through with Ron’s you can stop by my house, it’s open.
Don’t, I say don’t bring (HUC) that would cause the chickens to stop
lying and check for eggs before you make the bed.

PS;
You do great work, I would recommend.

Jack

I'll get right on that boys. You'll need to front me the airfare though...spent my last dime on beer and lotion for the BF
K

Kat, you have a wonderfully unique style. I love it! I'm on to the next chapter now. You're an awfully good writer (AGW).

By the way, if you do happen to go to Ron's to clean his toilet, take along a gallon of sulfuric acid and three sticks of dynamite. Or you could just borrow some of his.

Thanks Ken! and...
yeah...I heard through the grapevine that anything to do with Ron's bathroom might be a bit of an explosive situation..
K

I can't believe she tried to pay for the boob job! Also, good place to leave the story makes me want to know what comes next.

Glad you enjoyed it Danilo and welcome to the site.
Kathleen

Love your sense of humor. I'm so grateful Danilo Stern-Sapad dug this up because I totally would've missed it!!

Thanks Lauren. I have been busy with various projects the past few months, so haven't had much time to write, but I do have another installment or two in the works, that you've now prodded me to get working on again!

Kathleen