A Modern Day Fairy Tale: Part II

So; just when the car repairs had finally gotten done (thanks to that really nice guy that boyfriend (BF) had met at the job centre) and it looked like things were really going to start happening…the phone rang

Darling son (DS) had decided that living with a bunch of his smelly, dissident cohorts wasn’t such a good way to go after all due to their refusal to cover DS’s share of the rent whilst he was between jobs (AGAIN!!!), and wouldn’t it be wonderful for him to move home for a while and help (???) mom out?????

Right! What could a mother do? After all, she had thrown the “I gave birth to you!!!” line at him often enough. Now he was using it against her and things were coming home to roost. (In more ways than one!)

Before she knew it, in moved DS with his “stuff”. The guest room, that she had lovingly redecorated after they finally got the guy from the job centre to move out, was now full and already assuming the aroma that accompanied its new occupant.

Piles of shoes and boots multiplied in the hallway. Dirty laundry, like Hansel and Gretel’s crumbs, wound its way around her once fairly tidy domicile. (Surely, he wasn’t so far gone that he needed help finding his way to bed? Heavens the smell alone should be enough of a guiding beacon on its own!)

As the happy family tried to find its equilibrium, things took a an unexplained (?) turn for the worse. An evil plot was afoot to usurp from her the coveted TV watching spot and BF and DS were the conniving culprits. The once dueling duo (more on that later) had joined forces, each with their own ulterior motive, against the common enemy (they both hated each other but were now both PO’d at her, so had put those issues temporarily aside) to win from her the coveted prize…the TV remote and the best seat (recliner) in the house. War had been declared.

Just as WW III was erupting in the living room, the phone rang again. This time, Loving Eldest Daughter (LED) was calling with some sage advice for mom. “Dump the BF, stop babying DS, and either live a life of solitude and chastity or, better yet, patch things up with drunken ex-hubby so that LED could once again live within the confines of her childhood comfort zone.” All this from ONE self-awareness seminar!!

Following this self-awareness theme and upon the instructions of the seminar leader to “do what makes you feel good”, LED now demanded $5,000.00 from mom for a boob job. It was, after all, the least her mother could do to make up for the hideous atrocities of her childhood. (*Sigh*) What was a mother to do????

…and what about those squeaky brakes on the jeep?

(More to follow!)

Part 2 was as funny as part 1...can't wait for part 3 et al. By the way this is the reason some folks move to over 55 communities ‘cause the rules forbid people under 40 from living with you (except for a spouse). Sorry, Son, I'd love to take you in, but the rules won't let me.

Oh me oh my...can I relate to many a part in this episode! DS who is supposed to be living in the apartment off campus that we so generously pay for each month (along with a generous weekly food allowance) has been living out of the living room 3 or 4 nights a week as the GF (girlfriend) lives closer to hometown than collegetown and the "spare" room (his old room) we had 90% empty and ready to paint and make into a nice guest room is now filled with guitar equipment of all sorts and cartons of I-don't-know-what. Dirty sox jump out at you from the strangest places...as well as the occasional pair of boxers.

And LED is constantly giving me "life advice" WITHOUT the benefit of a self-awareness seminar...and didn't even need one to ask for the $$$ for the boob job! (hey! if I had that kind of money...I'D be getting "re-adjusted" here and there and everywhere!!) LYD (loving younger daughter), who probably lives close to you now Doug...can still drive me absolutely insane from 3,000 miles away. LYD moved back home to get her act together..I paid off her overdraft charges, charged her no rent and figured she was on her way to saving $$ for a car and to move back out...silly me! All her money went up in "smoke"...in more ways than one! She flew off to latest "love of her life" and foolishly married (guess we all have to do that at least once, eh?)

Of course, when all is said and done, I do dearly love them...it's just I didn't MIND the "empty nest"...

As far as the BF..yes I went through that with LED between marriages..I felt as if I was being pulled apart, each of them tugging me by the arms in opposite directions. LED won that battle, and it WAS for the best.

At any rate...I surely didn't mean to stir all THAT up! WOW! See what power your words have, Kathleen? Unless they are directed at DS to clear a path down the hallway...hehe

Douggie...just maybe Kathleen is a pretty young thing and not in the "over 55" group like SOME of us! You may have added insult to injury! haha

~~flutter~~

But Flutter, I didn't say she was in the 55+ group...I just said some people that are take the easy way out. I am sure Kathleen is pretty, young, and sweet to boot. No insult nor injury.

Ok, Dougie-poops...you're off the hook...I was just havin' fun with ya' anyway.

Maybe I should look into one of those places...hmm...

Now that I think of it...

That guy I told you about (the one BF met up with at the job fair), well he's good with brakes, too! And since his former room is now occupied by DS...you won't have to let him move in, either.

Kathleen,
Very enjoyable read and the responses aren’t bad either.
Keep them coming.

Jack

Doug..good suggestions. However, Im not in the over 55 age group yet, but it would be a good place to lay low for a while. (mind you, I believe they have their own set of interesting circumstances we could cover. I think alot of it has to do with really small dogs...)

Flutter..Too funny! Life does offer us some interesting material! I should put in a disclaimer that any resemblence to actual persons is purely accidental! (just in case any of them figure out what mom is really doing on the computer when she is supposed to be working!)
oh and thanks for sticking up for me!!!

Ron.. Im not sure where you find these people to recommend. Are you still trying to get back at me for being a cat lover????

Jack..Im enjoying the responses too! It's great to hear that Im not alone!!!!
Kathleen

What a way to start the day!

I love it. You are most well-versed in prose and verse!

This story and the way you're telling it are the most unique that I've read in a while. I love creativity and you have oodles of it. (I haven't used that word in a passel of days, either).

Thanks, Kathleen. I'll patiently await the next installment AS LONG AS IT HAPPENS SOON! GET IT?!

You can take your time. Just kidding. Is it done yet?

Kathleen - wowie zowie. This is a fabulous story you've got going!

As a matter of fact I thought it was still Part One that was on - but I discovered my mistake, and enjoyed this one with my evening coffee.
Nearly choked on it, I did. The coffee, I mean.

You certainly have a fine talent for spinning a hilarious yarn. And your story is not only funny, it shows considerable insight in the mazes of human nature.

Jane

This is getting pretty funny. I enjoy how you avoid using anyone's real name or any foul language for that matter; it's pretty clever.

This one's even funnier than the first! I love "DS" but my favorite part is the narrator's interpretation of LED's advice! haha!