This is practically my life's work....
I really hope you enjoy it and I'd love to get some help from all of you scholarly writers.

Lying on a long straw mat was a delicate young girl. The blonde ringlets of her hair lay on her pillow in such a way that it looked as though there was a glowing halo about her head. A wet spot on her sun-tanned cheek proclaimed where the young girl’s mother had recently kissed her and a simple quilt, made by loving hands, lay across her tiny form, but her small callused toes still peeked out from beneath the end of the quilt. Her eyes flicked back and forth beneath her eyelids, searching for something in her dream of sunny hillsides and puffy clouds. But the young girl’s dreams were short-lived.
“Kiesha, Kiesha wake up!” The shuffling of feet, along with the call, woke Kiesha from her pleasant sleep and she sat up on her elbow in response. She rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and opened them to see her mother running around like a madwoman, picking up anything that belonged to them and stuffing it into burlap sacks. “Pick up anything you have and put them in a sack. Hurry, they’re coming to get us!” her mother said to her in a panicked whisper. A not-quite-conscious Kiesha looked hazily up at the tall, slender form of her mother. The wavy blonde hair that fell to her waist was in disarray, and her work clothes looked as if they had been thrown on in a hurry. Her mother’s eyes were red and puffy, and Kiesha could see the trails of her recent tears on her thin, pale face. From the appearance of her mother she knew danger was coming. Not even taking time to change out of her nightgown, Kiesha grabbed anything she saw and stuffed it into the bag that her mother had shoved into her hands.

“Hurry,” her father’s husky voice rumbled through the sound of shuffling feet from where he stood peering out the front door. A faint light shone through the window in the door, growing brighter and brighter. “They’re coming up the walkway, run.” The shadowy hunk that was her father picked her up and cradled her like a newborn babe in his massive arms. Kiesha had always been small for the age of nine, and carrying her fragile body was no difficulty for him. His tense muscles rippled under his flesh while he took her mother’s hand and ran as if the devil himself was right behind him, almost tripping over an object on the floor that was indistinguishable in the darkness. Just as her father ran out of the back door, the thatch roof of their house exploded into flames. Black smoke billowed into the crisp night air.

Her father scurried down a rocky path and into the barn, her mother close behind him. The horses poked their heads out of their stalls and whinnied at the unexpected visitors. Kiesha was thrown into the hay-filled wagon that was sitting in the center aisle and her mother scrambled into the hay beside her while her father took up the reigns. He yelled at the horses and a violent lurch started the wagon rolling down the steep path away from their house.

A rumor had been flooding through the small village of Flojo, of dark creatures moving across the continent of Carnesir that destroyed anything in their path like a swarm of grasshoppers wiping out an entire crop of corn. Not many people had believed the rumor, but earlier that day while dropping off some produce in the village, Kiesha’s father had heard from the very lips of a man, who had escaped the wrath of the dark creatures, that Flojo was their next target.

Kiesha’s father didn’t know what to believe. There had not been a single war on the continent of Carnesir since Gaetono, an insane emporer, had been defeated thirty years ago by a man known as Kovoll, who was now ruling in Gaetono’s stead. So far Emperor Kovoll had kept their small continent from harm, but just for precaution he had hitched two horses up to the hay wagon that evening for a way of escape and now he was thankful that he had.

As they sped past their small farm house, which was now a hunk of charred wood, Kiesha saw what looked to be the form of a man in a billowing black robe. A ragged hood covered his head and face. Several indistinguishable forms crept out of the shadows to stand behind him.

Kiesha gasped when the man in the ragged robe glanced in her direction, but her fear soon turned to curiosity when she saw that his eyes were glowing a deep scarlet. She studied them, his eyes, the only thing seeable beneath the black robe. So many emotions poured out of his eyes; it was almost overpowering. Malice, anger, power, lust, yearning, it all shone through in his blood red eyes. But just as she was about to look away, his eyes turned to the color of honey, but only for a split second. His eyes piqued her interest and she continued to look on.

A gust of wind billowed from behind the man and expanded his coat, making him look larger and stronger. Kiesha couldn’t tear her eyes away from the shadow of the man. Mystery seemed to hang about him like a dark musk, and that made Kiesha all the more curious. Even though he was the one who was destroying her home, she wanted to know his past and what had caused him to become like this. What secrets did he hide beneath that black robe of his?

Sorry for the late reply. This site is currently in a "dry spell" with not many of the writers around lately. Your story caught my interest right away...a plus. Is there more of this to read? I noticed one small spelling error: "...her father took up the reigns" It should read reins. I'm looking forward to seeing where this story goes.

~~flutter~~

Intriguing, spellbinding the only way to describe your story. I too look forward to the next chapter.

Jack

I read this several days ago and it immediately captured my interest. You have written it well, beginning with a quiet moment that immediately evolves into action. There are ocuntless questions that come to mind upon which you can continue to build.

Please continue to share with us as you write. I'm hoping to get more involvement from old and new members in the weeks and months to come but even if not, you know you now have three who are eager to read more...thanks for sharing with us.