The trip (A Pantoum)


There is nothing worse than this,
to be cast aside and hidden away;
like a worn pair of shoes;
but it’s for my own good they say,

To be cast aside and hidden away,
as if I didn’t know what was happening;
but it’s for his own good they say,
he can’t stay hear alone any more.

As if I didn’t know what was happening;
they spoke as if I wasn’t hear.
He can’t stay here alone any more
their is no one to look out for him.

They spoke as if I wasn’t hear:
Can’t you understand?
There is no one to look out for him,
one of my sons was saying.

Can’t you understand?
We have no choice,
one of my sons was saying;
I don’t like it any more than you.

We have no choice!
His words cut like a knife.
I don’t like it any more than you!
What if I had said that of him fifty years ago?

His words cut like a knife,
doesn’t he know how much I love him;
what if I had said that of him fifty years ago,
would I have discarded this love?

Doesn’t he know how much I love him?
Like a worn pair of shoes,
would I have discarded this love?
There is nothing worse than this.

Re: The trip (A Plantoum)

You couldn't have chosen a worse form than the Pantonum for the message... it drills the sadder lines into one's heart.
It should be "here", not "hear" here, you hear?

Reminds me of a book by Rohinton Mistry... Family Matters about how "caring for" (it wasn't really caring for) an 80+ person seems a burden to his three kids, and affects their lives mostly for the worse. Also reminds me of a magazine article, an elderly woman's autobiography, where she wished her kids would gift her something with the purpose of GIFTING and not HELPING (not woolens and walking sticks -- rather perfume, a book, etc).

It's not that they don't care -- it is that we don't realizie that if one cares, one WILL find the time and heart and means to show one's caring. I'd like to think I'm different to the ones that'd do away with their parents, but I suppose time will tell?
Emotional and thought-provoking as well as revulsion-provoking.


"A speck of hope traverses eternity." –me, letswriteandshare

A Plantoum? Jack...you are so far out there I can hardly see you! A man brave enough to look himself in the mirror and write a plantoum is tops in my books...although I haven’t the foggiest notion what it is...but I’m sure you have done an outstanding job!

I like the poem Jack...very sobering and thought provoking. It is sad to think that many kids treat their aging parents like they suddenly have no feelings.

As always...great job my friend.

“ Lionheart
~

Im With Lionheart on the Plantoum.If saying something and someone repeating what was just said, is any thing like it. Well then you did a really fine job.

For the most part the kids don't want to be bothered.It's not that the parents aren't loved.
It's simply a inconveince.
I'm just gonna get me a pack of ready rolls and a few jugs of wordmans squeezings and mosey on up this ole mountain trail .

Thanks Share, Lionheart and Stephano, for taking time to read.
This was more of a challenge than any thing. I tried it once
before but gave up, it was too difficult. I was bullheaded enough
to try again. I admit it’s not very good but now I have a new
challenge, try to do better.

The 2nd and 4th lines in each stanza are the 1st and 3rd of the next.
The 1st and 3rd lines of the 1st stanza are repeated in reverse as the
2nd and 4th lines of the last stanza.

Jack

Jack, I am always, always impressed with your talent -- in the words you choose and the poetic styles you choose to convey those words.

The situatiuon you described is both heart-rending and all too true way too often. It is a difficult choice to make but many times circumstance dictates the options we have. Sometimes, to be left alone is not one of them.

I love your writing, my friend.

Ken

Ken,
I think the money I spend for this kind of insurance
is money down a rat hole; but it comforts my children.

Thanks for your comments, always appreciated.

Jack